Cheap Mentality

I have been following the national news quite diligently over the net and over the past few days the fuel price issue has been hogging all the limelight. Now I have not had the chance to intricately study whatever prompted our soft spoken PM to spike the prices with the elections around the corner , but if its one thing I am sure of that the decision was taken by Manmohan - the economist rather than the politician. I dont think anybody else has the guts to do that with Vote-bank politics and the leftist bastards baying for blood. We all know fuel prices have been rising all over the world, we also know that fuel among other things is one of the most subsidized entity in India all over the world. In fact most of the things are at their cheapest in India. Dont believe me , just google Big Mac Index and find out for yourself.

We crib about hikes in petrol and kerosene and yet celebrate weddings and every other function with atleast 4 generators gulping litres of fuel by the hundreds for the whole night. We crib over taxes even when most of us conveniently siphon off sales tax every time we dont take the receipt at the local store. We will buy swanky new cars every six months to upstage the equally big show-off neighbors yet we want to buy petrol for the price of mineral water. We dont ride Delhi Metro , even though its a world class public transport system , we would rather travel with friends each in their own vehicles criss crossing the roads with sound system blaring deafeningly loud. Its rather unfortunate that we dont use our famed bargaining skill to make the arabs and the US sell to us cheap oil so that we can continue doing all these things.

The problem is we are so used to subsidized value of everything that even when most of us can afford to pay the bills we raise a hue and cry as if the PM himself has stabbed us. I have no doubt that Congress is going to lose the next general election because they dared to save the economy at the expense of populist measures. I am also sure that after this Sonia Gandhi is going to do everything she can to appease the “Cheap” mentality of average Indian joe to soften the blow of single digit hikes in fuel prices.

By the way I know LPG has been hiked by a big Rs 50 , good job , we could all use some raw salad and fruits instead of oil soaked and deep fried shit we eat day in and day out.

Weekend Blues

I have completed my first week in Wageningen and boy , now a lonely feeling is creeping up. Maybe its the weather , I was supposed to travel to The Hague or Den Haag as the dutch say , but rain played spoilsport. And I was stuck all weekend in my 4 by 4 metre bedroom , underfed and highly bored. The market remains closed on sunday, which quashed any hopes of dinner at a resturant. Its such a pain to cook , eat and then wash the dishes all by yourself. I used to think a good meal prepared oneself was far better than shitmuck served by the mess but now I am not so sure. Maybe I am just too lazy. Plus I miss all the free coffee and hot chocolate you can get at the university. Ironically , I cant wait for Monday to get here, I’ll have my computer , the net , free goodies and the fact there is a cute german chick working next desk does help.

Hicket (from 20-20 to test match) part 1

Well considering it has become the favourite pastime of our lobby, I think its well worth writing about. Its essentially a game of cricket played with a hockey stick instead of bat and with a leather ball. The leather ball is a must to weed out weak crybabies (read Dhaval Sanganee) and make it a game for men , not for ponytailed effeminate Hostel G-secs. The laws are pretty quirky as is the field of play. The batsmen and and 2 fielders are on a raised platform and the bowler and other fielders are on the lower side of the ground. The pitch is about 4 metres in length. Scoring shots on the leg side can fetch 4 runs if the ball is hit straight over a pre decided line on the wall on the leg side. On the off side wall , 2 fielders attempt to stop runs (2 if the ball hits the wall after a bounce and four if direct). The game itself is quite addictive and invokes passionate response from all those playing it. The game itself was modeled by Vicky and Kaapi, however since then Kaapi has made little progress and continues to be much ridiculed for his quirky batting style and spineless seam bowling.

Its main and known players as of now are-

1. Vicky- the most agile fielder of the group. also a handy batsman and bowler. is prone to calling legitimate balls as fast simply because he lacks the skill to tackle them.

2. Entra- Technically sound batsman of the lot , one dimensional player in the offside. Sound bowler who snares batsman with pace variations. Also known for his JLo ass.

3. Sid- known for his wierd underarm bowling that makes run scoring difficult. is prone to invoke chants , kasam and other voodoo shit to prove he was not out.

4. KJ- known for setting new records in shortest time at the crease. one dimensional player on the leg side.

5. NJ- known for hitting fours on the leg side and spin bowling. one dimensional player of the leg side. is prone to lie with a straight face and cheat.

6. Kaapi- known for co-inventing the game. period. after that his sole claim to fame is we use his door as the wicket. Useless bowler , useless batsman, average fielder. If he wasnt providing sexual favors to most of other people in the list he probably woudnt be playing at all.

7. Ballu- known for sharp fielding and also a handy batsman and bowler. prone to throwing fast and unruly deliveries at batsman.

8. Nilu- known for bragging his lungs out on the field.

9. pandey- known for providing entertainment like only lower order batsman can. devoid of any talent , manages to score one or 2 on his lucky day.

10. Bahubali- known for his weird batting stance and continous struggle to score his first run in the field.

11. Shanuj- known for putting his foot in his mouth and making himself look like an idiot on the field.

The rules will be uploaded next time.

Rain Rain Go Away , take the bitchy ants with ye

Another day of continuous rain in Guwahati …… Its been raining cats and dogs for the last 1 week here. Consequently all my hopes of getting some work done for the betterment of my lifestyle here in hellhole have been dashed. And its not just the rain that play spoilsport in here.

I got my room cleaned out , washed out , swept and what not…. BUT the shameless creatures that the guwahati ants and cockroaches are they were there to welcome me with open arms the next day I woke up. I mean Wtf , the bastards cudnt even wait till next few days. And not just the room , my new clothes even though I was not carrying even a milligram of food with me. Fucking Beggar Ants… I dont know if you already know this technique but yesterday I found method to drain out ants from any place. Talcum Powder

I m not sure it works with all kinds of talcum powders or not, but with mine it worked out like a charm. Maybe it was the AXE effect. Within 2 hrs all the ants had abandoned their positions and scurried off in search of greener pastures or probably they just found out that I hadnt brought anything worth feeding them.

Imagine the Ant Army General giving orders “Have u checked under the shirts?? ….. under the pants …..??….. nothing there …. sneaky SOAB where did he hid the food ???…. keep lookin comrades … and get those females ants out of the jockeys and tell them to look in the side compartments….”
“Fuck!!! what this smelly white rain …… , Idiot doesnt get any food and then tries to smother us with this shit ….. Abandon Posts comrade … and leave some spy ants around strategic locations around the room .. so we can know when he tries to bring in some food ….Inhabitant of Room55 , Manas hostel , u’ll pay for this………….”

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