First Day of Internship

So at 9:45 I sauntered in the nice looking building bearing my passport, invitation letter and well an unread research paper. I guess I thought I would give off an academic impression The professor thankfully is really nice and went around introducing me to her colleagues and other doctorate students. Boy some are real hotties, and I m like  “I m not ruling out higher edu. just yet” So I met all kinds of researchers , some really cool, and some eccentric ones. From one I got the feeling as if he saw right thru me , “Yeah I know boy u r not here to work , u r just here to roam europe and leer at skimpily dressed euro girls”. I know bit descriptive but I generaly read people well. So after the introductions were over , I was shown my desk in a student room in the corner of the fifth floor. The room is pretty cool and the view is really nice. The building where I am working houses the environmental sciences group. And its completely made of glass on the outside with some neo architechture support . So ur prof can watch u from the street and see if u r workin or not.

By the way , the prof has given me a lot of reading material and I guess I m going to have to do a lot of work in the coming weeks. There goes my Euro Trip Dream down the drain.

Amanda : Add upto 4 inches

Sender                        Subject

Todd Irwin                   A little d.i.c.k
Dr. Tom Coker            Make her tremble with passion
Marylou Sanchez        Be the KING of the world, and the largest of the jungle

What’s with the annoying mails that keep on promising to increase your organs size manifold. I doubt people who are seriously considering that kind of ” surgery ” will pay any heed to these quacks who keep spamming people’s accounts. What I keep wondering is that if Todd , Dr. Tom and Marylou have such magical and wonderful remedies , why don’t they use it on themselves or their partners and hit the sack. Why keep bothering the rest of us by promising to pull our d**ks so long that we wont be able to wear shorts for the rest of our lives.

It really gets on your nerves sometimes …..you are expecting an important mail … you see the new mail has arrived in the inbox… you expectantly open your inbox and there right at the top is seated proudly Dr. Tom telling you in graphic detail what to do with your privates to please your supposedly insatiable girlfriend. No matter how many inches growth you might sport , according to Dr. Tom you will still be unable to satisfy her. For God sakes if the meds do work , by the time you are finished using them , you will probably be using it as a whip more than anything else.

Here is a fun thought.. imagine everybody religiously uses those meds and they do work !!!

5 things that we’ll be doing in a day if that happens :
1. Use it as a makeshift rope to hang the clothes to dry on
2. Now people wont be needing rope for a fun day out doing rock climbing
3. Somebody makes a joke or a mistake in boardroom meeting and out comes the boss’   THING to keep the meeting in control.
4. Use it as a skipping rope to keep yourself in shape
5. Finally use it as a whip to spice up things in the bedroom

well at this time i can only think of five ….. maybe you can suggest some more …

Memoirs from Antaragni

Well say what you may , but here’s a fact … Alcher is way way behind Antaragni maaan.!!!! And considering I had never heard of this fest before 2 months , I cannot even hope to imagine the magnitude and grandeur of Mood Indigo. Given here are a few snippets from my 5 day sojourn at IIT Kanpur.

Day1 - all night practice has not dampened anyone’s enthu or spirit and all eagerly look forward to the time that we leave for the station to catch the morning train. “Sampark kranti” or watever the name was not so bad as I had imagined it to be. the fact there were seventeen of us helped , we didnt have to make smalltalk to other people to pass the time. anyways , the train starts and everyone headed for the berths…… guess the first instinct was to mark their own private space lest there is squabbling later over the lower or upper berth. personally I really dont give a fuck whether I get a lower , middle or upper berth. They are same lengthwise!!!! after 3 hrs or so when everyone has their berth , tea has been had , and other trivial matters sorted out we all sat down together and well what do you call it ??? the fun started … I found out that there are certain games I never knew about , “killer-detective” is one of them . trust me , if you are ever travelling with a bunch of hotbods (we werent ) this is the game to play. rules later…

Dumb Charades , Card games were other popular means of timepass. But for me the one that took the cake was the storytelling session ….. Thanks Deep for being such a sport ….. However not all people were playing games , some were catching up on years and years of sleep I guess from the way they slept at slightest of pretext… Kudos to the one who saved us from the railway pantry food and had the foresight to pack ‘poori-aloo’ for the whole contingent. last few hrs were spent sleeping and anticipating the weather at kanpur. finally at 10 o’clock the following morning we were there.

Day 2 - Kanpur is clearly quite old. You would have to completely dumb not to realize that coz the moment you step out of the train and look around , frayed and ill maintained remains of Mughal architecture stare back at you. The station itself is a dead give away. With the oppressive load on our back we started to look for volunteers from IIT Kanpur. A little bit of formalities later we decided to visit the nearby Mc Donalds to eat and use their clean toilets to fart in luxury before going to IIT K. the luggage was being looked after by our volunteers. The mall to which we went stands oddly out among old city. And though administration has tried to cover up this fact by raising similar structures in the vicinity , the ironic difference in the posh shiny mall and the dusty village roads leading up to it is hard to miss. Meal at Mcd’s was a treat by Dangra , in lieu of his intern at Reliance which he insists he will not do…. Some guys treat themselves to free helpings of deo in the adjoining shop. The idea seems great , but if you have been sweating like a pig for last 24 hrs i doubt if even the goddess of smell herself could curb ur stink ,let alone a poor deo can. Its getting late and after endless squabbles over who got icecream and who didnt , we realize that we might miss our bus to IIT K. So we head back. The heat seems lenient now that we had the 30 kg luggage off our backs. Surprise surprise !!! even DU participates in antaragni !!! apparently the hot girl and nosy bitch combo were from LSR. there were 2 other girls who were from delhi I think , perhaps Neelu would know better. Reachin there we waited for over an hour before registration was completed. But no complaints , there was so much do… The gang of colleges from various parts of country had arrived , pretty chicks roaming around with heavily muscled studs , hot bods roaming around IITK with the look that said “We know you are leering at us” , between the sea of cleavages and gym toned asses there and then the realization hit me like lightening “Fuck !!!Alcher is nowhere near this shit………, the day you get this kind of crowd and I sincerely hope that we do one day soon …….Alcher would have arrived”. As you will see later , not all of it was due to brilliance of IITK students , they just happen to have very supporting Admin and a no holds barred spons policy from what I could see. anyways back to us. We had to first carry our luggage again to the girls hostel , then tow it back to our accomodations . There were significant differences ……. the girls got a room , we got a tv room shared by 5 other teams. They had privacy , ours was invaded regularly at 9 am in the morning until 9 in the evening. chicks from other teams would lay there all day hobnobbing with their guys all day long , for GOD sake cudnt they have requested a room. Anyways the first day at IIT K was sort of settling in period… We had to make quite a few trips to the SAC to get our official IDs. Food that they provided was pretty bad. The canteen in our hostel was a dream come true though. Everything from parathas to cold coffee was available 20 hrs a day at unbelievably low prices, we are getting seriously ripped at Guwahati.

Bye for now , i will update the rest of the days in a day or two. feel free to comment

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Funny Limericks

These are some of the best ones I have ever seen

There was a fat turkey named Sam,

Who gobbled whenever he ran.

He came out of the bush,

Presenting his tush,

And was shot up the arse by a man.

  There was a young Sheila from Down Under

Who would ne’er commit social blunder

One day at repast

A bloke nearby gas passed

So she simply remarked ‘Was that thunder?’

There was a young maid from Madras

Who had a magnificent ass;

Not rounded and pink,

As you probably think—

It was grey, had long ears, and ate grass.

There once was a deer called Buck,

And into the garden he snuck,

he waited all night,

til’ the time was right,

Then jumped out and got hit by a truck!