Up at Night in IIT g

July 4, 2008

GRE Preparation

Filed under: Humour, Life — Sparrow @ 8:14 pm
Tags: ,

Yes I know I surprised a whole lot of people including myself by scoring well in GRE. It was one of those moments when the computer understood my hidden brilliance :D unlike in the CS lab where the machines were bent on proving me a retard. So for all those mugging and prepping and slogging their asses off for this exam I will take a well deserved rest from my intern to poke fun at you. Read the next few points in total silence and remove all harmful objects within your reach, otherwise you might end up hitting the poor machine.

1. If you have never read more than 15 books other than your course books, you should drop the idea of GRE altogether. I am telling you now what your Dad will tell you after you give the test “What a f***ing(1) waste of money”.

2. If you think with 3 months of mugging up of 3500 words you will end up with a good score*(2) think again shithead. The real preparation starts after you know the usage of atleast 2000 of them and know the meanings of the rest. For the proper usage you should have developed a reading habit back when you were in 8th class or sth started from enid blytons and moved on to the serious stuff gradually. Now its too late. Refer to last line of Rule 1.

3. You think that by doing the high frequency wordlist you can manage a decent score. Hey even the test experts from Princeton Review and Kaplan say that. Well sorry to break your bubble but that is meant for retard american kids who want to improve from 700 to 900 or 1000 and can probably afford to go without scholarship. You, my friend, are advised to pull your pants down, stand on the street corner and bend over if you love getting screwed so much, which is what is going to happen to you on the test day.

4. In the rarest of rare circumstances by a quirk of fate or by hidden genious, you do actually manage to learn all the 3500 words, well rejoice, take a break before the test day and enter the test hall only to realise the first word you get is not from Barrons (this can happen as the list is not exhaustive). What happens next- you start sweating, loose your nerve and end up wasting too much time in guessing and screw it all up. Again Refer to last line of Rule 1.

So you see , pretty much anything you do is redundant at this point of time. And for those of you headed to my home to beat the shit out of me, relax. This post has been written from the nuetral territory of Nederlands. Best of luck for your test ;)

* 1- insert uck in place of ***

2- good score can vary from person to person based on how low you think of yourself. I think 1450 is a good score.

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